Blockbuster Review #4: Brotherhood of the Wolf

Before getting into the nitty gritty, I should give a little background to this series for those just clicking in. The story begins with the sad declaration of Blockbuster Canada going out of business. It ends with me, the avid movie lover, mourning the loss of my local Blockbuster and going home with an arm full of their orphaned movies. Since my family members were involved in the splurge, movies I've never seen or would never have picked myself came home with me too. I thought it would be fun to review the movies on this blog and so began my Blockbuster Series. This is the fourth movie I'm delivering a verdict to.


So what's this movie all about you ask?

The Brotherhood of the Wolf is a 2001 French film that I watched dubbed in English but there was also the option to have English subtitles. It is inspired by the popular French myth of the "Beast of Gevaudan".

It takes place in 18th century France, in Gevaudan province. Villagers are terrorized and killed by a mysterious beast that no one has ever seen. Upon hearing of the killings, the King of France orders the Chevalier de Fronsac and his native american friend, Mani, to investigate the matter. What they discover is completely unexpected.  

Here's the trailer:

What did I think?

This is a rated-R movie definitely not made for kids (even if it is somewhat historical/educational). That said, I think it is a good movie, but perhaps, because of this, good for a selective audience only.

Its violent, visually spectacular, with good character and plot development (and for a mystery that's a must), and it put a really interesting twist on the action hero by making him an 18th century taxidermist. It is very original in a lot of aspects.

It can be classified under so many genres (horror, romance, mystery, action, adventure, history, etc.) so I can't imagine anyone being bored by it. The jacket cover describes it as a sort of historical "Matrix" but after watching for myself, I can't agree. The only resemblance, in my opinion, is a rather corny, slow-motion fighting scene in the first few minutes that reflects the fighting in The Matrix. And I believe this scene actually takes away from the movie's better qualities. I'd market it as more of a French Pirates of the Caribbean. Regardless, I thought it was a fun and entertaining movie, that isn't meant to be taken too seriously. I think viewers who understand that will enjoy it the most.

7 out of 10.

What do you think about my review?
Do you agree with my score?
Let me know in the comments!



    

The Tourist = Slowest. Boat Chase. Ever.

The Tourist is a definite miss that only happens to star two big actors. Both Depp and Jolie give fair performances given what they have to work with, but, in the end, the weakness of the movie's script, plot, and character development drive this movie into an inescapable hole.

The shots, angles, and scenes appear to want to evoke a 1950's film-noir aspect but fail miserably when they do this in a modern day world. If they wanted to create film-noir, they could have easily made the movie into a period-piece without even disrupting much of the screenplay.

The overall movie is cheesy, translucently predictable, and weak. A movie made just to make a movie.

5 out of 10.

Let me know what you think!

Blockbuster Review #2: The Lovely Bones

This 2009, Peter Jackson movie, based on the book by the same title, is the story of a girl who is murdered at 14 and finds herself in a type of limbo in which she tries to reach out towards those people whom she loved in life (most importantly her family).

When a movie is based on a book, I can expect it to be a little more thought out, a little better than the regular dreck Hollywood spews out. And I guess this movie did not disappoint in that respect. Neither did Jackson's directing -- granted some of the scenes were incredibly corny and over dramatic but isn't that the charm of Jackson's direction we all know and love sometimes?

The visual effects were engrossing, imaginative and sometimes reminiscent of those used
in "What Dreams May Come" (in my opinion, a must-see movie whose visual effects are among the best I've ever seen in film). Art and visual effects crew, however, are entirely different for the two movies.
Here is a sample of their visual effects:

                    Top: The Lovely Bones
                 Bottom: What Dreams May Come

Most of all, I believe it was Stanley Tucci's performance as psychotic serial killer of young girls that I enjoyed best about the movie. I have seen Tucci in several movies now that have showcased his acting talent, but I was still pleasantly surprised at how he changed his voice, mannerisms, and behaviour for this role in "The Lovely Bones". When a well-known actor can still surprise you with what he can do in front of a camera, he is definitely worth watching!

I enjoyed this film for the most part and believe that its likable for the masses. My only qualms would be the corniness, the inclusion of sometimes over-the-top supernaturaleness (but really, where do you draw the line between believable magic and "just totally unrealistic" magic?), and an ending that gives the audience a desirable but therefore predictable sense of closure.

6 out of 10.
Your comments?

The Blockbuster Series: Your Highness script is what a high Seth Rogen would write

Welcome to the first discussion of the Blockbuster series! 

As you know, Blockbuster Canada is shutting down operations and jumping ship, leaving their disgruntled and bitter employees to ring through my impulse sale purchases of videos! Since I got caught up in the deceptive idea that I'd be saving money by buying their 25% discounted movies, I have now collected a nice pile of what I'm sure will be terrible but hilarious entertainment. This is why I've decided to watch and critique the movies as I go along and share my opinions on my probably non-existent hits, but giant misses for, hopefully, more entertaining discussion. Feel free to comment on whether or not you agree with me!
 

So here we go with the first in my collection...

"Your Highness" - starring James Franco, Danny McBride, and Natalie Portman. 


The best way of describing this movie is incredibly painful. As someone who enjoyed Pineapple Express and both Franco and McBride's performances in that movie, I was expecting good if not at least decent things from Your Highness. I was sorely let down. With a budget that was used more on their special effects and wardrobe (i.e. funny hats and pantaloons, etc. etc.), it's like they forgot they needed to write a script. So at the end of the day they just mashed together an obvious plot, with some obvious toilet humour and sex jokes, and added a few scenes of naked women for distraction from it (who needs words when you have naked women right?) and then called it a movie! And warning: No acting was required in the making of this film. They didn't care enough to act. And I know I shouldn't criticize a stoner movie like I would criticize an Oscar winning movie, but just in comparison to Pineapple Express, Your Highness doesn't even come close to good! They had a good idea and a good cast and they could have made this a better movie if they had just actually put a little effort into it!

4 out of 10.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with my bashing? Or did you like it?

Missing my first desk job

It's been just over a week since I completed my summer student position with the Ministry of Revenue. I'm pretty sure it's taken me this long to write about it because I was so relaxed and having too much fun for the past month actually working in the office! Not only did the people in this office make it a friendly, stress-free place to work, but the work itself was uncomplicated and stress-free. Although mind numbing at times, it was certainly never hated and I can honestly say that I have never had such a positive and cushy job! I was respected, praised instead of negatively criticized, was able to do both desk work and more hands-on physical work, and still had energy at the end of the day to do whatever my blissful heart desired! And at the end of it all, my mangers gave me a certificate of appreciation (a golden sticker included for extra panache even!), and gift cards for Chapters and Tim Hortons! Not to mention, they paid for out-of-office lunch trips to Williams coffee pub on two separate days of my work term! I felt spoiled beyond belief! 

I came away with a nice slew of professional work skills too which I've now added to my resume and LinkedIn profile (which, if you haven't encountered yet, is a social media site much like Facebook but for your professional working self). These included work with Microsoft Outlook, Microsoft Excel, shipping, courier and mail services, use and maintenance of printers, faxes, photocopiers, organization and creation of files, boardroom setup, customer service, telephone communications and transfers.

I am so happy I got the opportunity to work there and I really do miss the people and the stress-free environment that school is currently working hard to rub out of my memory!

In transition: What was your first job and how terrible was it?

 As previously stated, I'm going to be beginning my new desk job July 4th. Until that wonderful date,  I am finishing up a four-summers-long career at Subway Restaurants as a "sandwich artist". Yes, that's right, I have been  performing fast-food customer service for four years! Is there any job that's worse? Well, actually I'm sure there are many (as someone like Mike Rowe could prove), but for me, 4 summers of working a dead-end job that I've always hated is pain and suffering enough for my lifetime thank you! The recent telling of my departure to my boss just reinforced this fact. Instead of wishing me congratulations on taking advantage of this great new opportunity, he was speechless with "nothing to say" apparently. He has ignored and avoided me since I told him and we have had no conversation on the topic since then. It is clear that he is an expert in passive bullying of the high school-girl type and I have been feeling guilty for some insane reason because of all this... In fact, I couldn't sleep last night because I had such a realistic nightmare of him canceling all my remaining shifts and telling me he was angry with me. (on a side note, he actually did cancel one of my shifts this week...coincidence?). But honestly, what do I have to feel guilty about? I gave him two weeks notice. He should understand that if an opportunity presents itself to me (a graduated university student) that is anything more prestigious than slapping meat on a bun, I'm going to take it! But anyway, I digress into another argument. For now, I will focus on a quick summary of my job and why it is so loathsome to me:   

1. Constant criticism - My boss has never said "good job" to me or any other employees really. Instead, there is always something to criticize.
2. Illegal slave labour - Employees do not have mandatory breaks and I have often worked a 7 hour shift with one 10 minute break or less.
3. Cheap, cheap, cheap! - My boss tells employees to save and stinge on everything we can, from condiments to veggies to the amount of cheese we put on the bread. He has one cleaning product for the entire store (which is such a failure against health checks) and he has made me return my previously used uniform at the end of every working summer. Any extra time employees spend working in the store (ie. that extra 10 minutes) is unpaid for. Finally, special deals/promotions are usually never done "at our location".
4. Customer Concern Garners Criticism- Health failures abound mainly from not properly washed containers (because everything must be done in a rapid fire motion and if you care about giving customers actually clean dishes, your boss yells at you for being slow). My concern with giving customers fresh, clean, good food is usually overridden as well by my boss`demands. The ends of tomatoes with the hard cores in them are saved because my boss is cheap and I always feel guilty giving these to customers to eat.

Well friends...that was my rampage on my first job. Do you have first jobs or just jobs you've hated as passionately? Or have you had good first job experiences? I'd love it if you shared your story with me!

Finally employed! It may be cheesy, but the glass is definitely half-full today!

Well... success!! I have finally landed my very first desk job. It is only a summer student job, but I couldn't be happier or more excited for it to begin. This will be the first time I'll have a real "desk job"!  I guess this is evidence that you should never give up applying to positions even when it feels absolutely hopeless. It took me four years to get to this point and along the way, I must admit, I became extremely pessimistic and depressed over my future (or presumed lack thereof). But I always understood that I would eventually get a job. It was never completely hopeless and no one should ever think that their future is either. In my own experience, I applied to so many positions and organizations this summer and summers past through things like internet job banks and government sites and I might have received a few interviews as a result, but never was I offered any positions. And this was a tiring and de-motivational experience, as it would be for anyone but when you know you need a job you don't give up. You can get frustrated that people don't realize your genius and how amazing you would have been as an employee, but in a blink you should be looking and applying elsewhere, because after all there's no use in crying over spilled milk.