The Tourist = Slowest. Boat Chase. Ever.

The Tourist is a definite miss that only happens to star two big actors. Both Depp and Jolie give fair performances given what they have to work with, but, in the end, the weakness of the movie's script, plot, and character development drive this movie into an inescapable hole.

The shots, angles, and scenes appear to want to evoke a 1950's film-noir aspect but fail miserably when they do this in a modern day world. If they wanted to create film-noir, they could have easily made the movie into a period-piece without even disrupting much of the screenplay.

The overall movie is cheesy, translucently predictable, and weak. A movie made just to make a movie.

5 out of 10.

Let me know what you think!

Blockbuster Review #2: The Lovely Bones

This 2009, Peter Jackson movie, based on the book by the same title, is the story of a girl who is murdered at 14 and finds herself in a type of limbo in which she tries to reach out towards those people whom she loved in life (most importantly her family).

When a movie is based on a book, I can expect it to be a little more thought out, a little better than the regular dreck Hollywood spews out. And I guess this movie did not disappoint in that respect. Neither did Jackson's directing -- granted some of the scenes were incredibly corny and over dramatic but isn't that the charm of Jackson's direction we all know and love sometimes?

The visual effects were engrossing, imaginative and sometimes reminiscent of those used
in "What Dreams May Come" (in my opinion, a must-see movie whose visual effects are among the best I've ever seen in film). Art and visual effects crew, however, are entirely different for the two movies.
Here is a sample of their visual effects:

                    Top: The Lovely Bones
                 Bottom: What Dreams May Come

Most of all, I believe it was Stanley Tucci's performance as psychotic serial killer of young girls that I enjoyed best about the movie. I have seen Tucci in several movies now that have showcased his acting talent, but I was still pleasantly surprised at how he changed his voice, mannerisms, and behaviour for this role in "The Lovely Bones". When a well-known actor can still surprise you with what he can do in front of a camera, he is definitely worth watching!

I enjoyed this film for the most part and believe that its likable for the masses. My only qualms would be the corniness, the inclusion of sometimes over-the-top supernaturaleness (but really, where do you draw the line between believable magic and "just totally unrealistic" magic?), and an ending that gives the audience a desirable but therefore predictable sense of closure.

6 out of 10.
Your comments?

The Blockbuster Series: Your Highness script is what a high Seth Rogen would write

Welcome to the first discussion of the Blockbuster series! 

As you know, Blockbuster Canada is shutting down operations and jumping ship, leaving their disgruntled and bitter employees to ring through my impulse sale purchases of videos! Since I got caught up in the deceptive idea that I'd be saving money by buying their 25% discounted movies, I have now collected a nice pile of what I'm sure will be terrible but hilarious entertainment. This is why I've decided to watch and critique the movies as I go along and share my opinions on my probably non-existent hits, but giant misses for, hopefully, more entertaining discussion. Feel free to comment on whether or not you agree with me!
 

So here we go with the first in my collection...

"Your Highness" - starring James Franco, Danny McBride, and Natalie Portman. 


The best way of describing this movie is incredibly painful. As someone who enjoyed Pineapple Express and both Franco and McBride's performances in that movie, I was expecting good if not at least decent things from Your Highness. I was sorely let down. With a budget that was used more on their special effects and wardrobe (i.e. funny hats and pantaloons, etc. etc.), it's like they forgot they needed to write a script. So at the end of the day they just mashed together an obvious plot, with some obvious toilet humour and sex jokes, and added a few scenes of naked women for distraction from it (who needs words when you have naked women right?) and then called it a movie! And warning: No acting was required in the making of this film. They didn't care enough to act. And I know I shouldn't criticize a stoner movie like I would criticize an Oscar winning movie, but just in comparison to Pineapple Express, Your Highness doesn't even come close to good! They had a good idea and a good cast and they could have made this a better movie if they had just actually put a little effort into it!

4 out of 10.

What are your thoughts? Do you agree with my bashing? Or did you like it?

Missing my first desk job

It's been just over a week since I completed my summer student position with the Ministry of Revenue. I'm pretty sure it's taken me this long to write about it because I was so relaxed and having too much fun for the past month actually working in the office! Not only did the people in this office make it a friendly, stress-free place to work, but the work itself was uncomplicated and stress-free. Although mind numbing at times, it was certainly never hated and I can honestly say that I have never had such a positive and cushy job! I was respected, praised instead of negatively criticized, was able to do both desk work and more hands-on physical work, and still had energy at the end of the day to do whatever my blissful heart desired! And at the end of it all, my mangers gave me a certificate of appreciation (a golden sticker included for extra panache even!), and gift cards for Chapters and Tim Hortons! Not to mention, they paid for out-of-office lunch trips to Williams coffee pub on two separate days of my work term! I felt spoiled beyond belief! 

I came away with a nice slew of professional work skills too which I've now added to my resume and LinkedIn profile (which, if you haven't encountered yet, is a social media site much like Facebook but for your professional working self). These included work with Microsoft Outlook, Microsoft Excel, shipping, courier and mail services, use and maintenance of printers, faxes, photocopiers, organization and creation of files, boardroom setup, customer service, telephone communications and transfers.

I am so happy I got the opportunity to work there and I really do miss the people and the stress-free environment that school is currently working hard to rub out of my memory!